Scary Crazy Randomness!
by Kasaki and Marty
Summary: Well, everybody else was writing random stories, so we are, too. Be prepared for highness, clouds, woot, making out, and . . . TADA! DEAD BODIES!
1. Real Randomness

Scary Crazy Randomness-Part 1!

By

Kasaki and Marty

(Rulers of the Planet Earth and the Masters of Woot)

Marty:

Time for Scary Crazy Randomness! Woot.

Kasaki:

It is our best work ever. And I love the Woot.

Kyo:

What the hell is the matter with you two? Are you high or something?

Kasaki:

She is.

(Points at Marty who is running around in circles screaming: "MARTY HAD A LITTLE LAMB! BECAUSE THE LAMB WAS A FUCKING BITCH NAMED HIROOOOOOOOO!")

Kasaki:

I'm just totally fine and sane. I do this because I can. Oh, and by the way, don't try to understand my geniuses. You'd get lost.

Kyo:

Hiro:

Excuse me? What did you just say? (appears suddenly and randomly)

Tohru:

Hi, everybody! (waves all cute-like as she appears randomly) Um, is Marty okay? She is being scary.

Haru (appears suddenly and randomly):

Yes, she is just busy at the moment. So, Kasaki, what kind of scary crazy randomness are we going to receive today?

Kasaki:  
Let's just watch Marty do what she does best.

Everybody (suddenly appears randomly):

Okay.

(Popcorn randomly appears also. Everyone takes a seat and watches the show. Somehow Kasaki manages to get a hold of the only thing that makes her high: Marty's Magic Potion #3: QuickBoost Highness)

Marty:

What is the matter with you all? Did you all get into QuickBoost Highness? It's clouding your vision so it seems like _I'm_ the high one here.

Haru:

No.

Marty:  
Huh, so Haru didn't at least. I'm tired. Staying up until 1 AM playing video games isn't such a good idea . . . (Suddenly falls asleep)

Akito:

Shit, it was just getting good. (Even Akito is doing it. Don't do drugs . . .)

Haru:

She's cute when she sleeps.

Kyo:

SHE'S NOT ASLEEP, SHE'S BLITZED OUT OF HER MIND!!!!! (And Kyo)

Haru:

Don't do drugs. (He joins Marty in her nap. And so does Momiji)

Tohru:  
(Runs out of room and comes back carrying blankets.) I wouldn't want them to get cold!  
Rin (veeeery quietly):

It's 87 degrees F outside. They're not gonna catch a cold.

Kasaki:

I want to catch a cloud.

Yuki:  
That was random.

Kakeru:  
I think that's the point.

Yuki:  
Where did you materialize from?

Kasaki:  
Let's go. (Drags Yuki and Kakeru out of the room.) We're going cloud hunting.

Kakeru:  
YAAAAAAAAAY! I get to go cloud hunting with my Yun-Yun!

Kimi (suddenly appears randomly):

Kimi wants to go, too!

Yuki:  
HEEEEEEELP MEEEEEE! (thinks) Well, it can't get any worse, can it?

Ayame:  
I AM HERE TO GO CLOUD HUNTING WITH MY LOVELY, MOST DEAREST BROTHER, YUN-YUN!!!!!!

Kasaki:

Clouds clouds clouds. (sings) I love clouds, I love clouds, let's go catch some clouds today!!!!!!!!!!

Yuki:  
I stand corrected.

(The cloud hunting party heads outside. Suddenly the sky clouds over ((randomly)) and a thunderstorm starts.)

Kasaki:  
YAY, LOTS OF CLOUDS!!!!!!!!

(For some suddenly random reason Marty and Haru wake up and go over to the window to watch the cloud hunting party. They are holding one another affectionately. Suddenly a huge bolt of lightning comes and shocks the cloud hunters and kills all of them except Kasaki.)

Kyo:  
Why'd they all die except Kasaki?

Marty:

(her blue eyes turn a deep, magical purple. A matching aura surrounds her.)

Haru:

Obviously she used her magic to protect Kasaki.

Kyo:  
Oh.  
(Suddenly ((and very randomly)) pulls out a net. The thunderclouds magically disappears. Kasaki screams.)

Kasaki:

COME BACK, CLOUDS!

(She jumps into the sky in a Superman pose, waving her net. She flies off until she is a tiny dot and then disappears along with the clouds)

Kasaki:

TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!!!!!

Marty (aura goes away):

Oh well. She'll be back when she gets hungry. Hey, Haru, let's go make out somewhere.

Haru:

Okay. (They disappear.)

Rin:

Shit. Oh well. (She disappears)

Akito:

I'm bored. Let's go find someone to torture, okay, Kureno.

Kureno:

Um . . . okay. (They disappear)

Tohru:

Oh! I have dishes to wash! (She disappears)

Kisa:  
All those dead bodies are scary. Let's go home, Hiro.

Hiro:

Okay. (They disappear)

(Kyo is left alone in the room with a sleeping Momiji. He looks over.)

Kyo:

RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

AFTERTHOUGHT:

Will Kasaki ever catch her cloud? What are they going to do with all those dead bodies? And is this the beginning of a beautiful relationship between Marty and Haru? Stay tuned to find out.


	2. Woot Masters in Training

Scary Crazy Randomness-Part 2:

Woot Masters in Training

By

Kasaki and Marty

(Yes, they are still Rulers of the Planet Earth and Masters of Woot.)

Marty:

Welcome back to Scary Crazy Randomness! I hope you enjoyed last time! Here's a recap of Part 1:

Summary Kasaki gets a hold of the only thing that gets her high - Marty's Magic Potion #3: QuickBoost Highness. She gives everyone else some except Haru and Marty. So the high people think that Marty and Haru are high, even though they're not. And Haru, Momiji, and Marty take a nap. Then Kasaki decides to go cloud hunting. She takes Yuki, Kakeru, Kimi, Ayame and Shigure. But all of the Cloud Hunters except Kasaki get struck by lightning and die. Then Marty and Haru go make out somewhere and Kasaki flies off into the sky to chase clouds and Kyo runs away for some reason. End Summary So this time Kasaki and I force all of the Sohmas to go into training to become Masters of Woot, just like us. And, at the end, we might have some previews of what's to come.

Kasaki:

So, let the training begin!

Marty:

Enjoy the show!

Momiji:

Bye-bye! See you all later!

Akito:

I'm coming too, so beware.

Marty:  
Who invited you?

Akito:

I invited myself.

Marty:

Okay, it'll be fun!

Ghost Yuki:

(Slaps ghostly forehead) Oh. My. Gosh.

Marty:

(Is marching back and forth) You may be wondering why we have forcefully drag- I mean, gathered you all here today.

Kyo:

Ya got that damn right.

Kasaki:

Well, it is a very important reason.

Kasaki and Marty (together):

You are going into training to be Masters of Woot! Like us!

Ghost Kakeru:

Whyyyyyyyyy?  
Marty:

Because we can't think of anything else to do for a story! The _Star Trek-Voyager_ thing didn't work out, and-

Tohru:

Star Trek? What's that? It sounds fun!

Kasaki:

It is a very cool thing. But that might come in later. Anyway, Marty.

Marty:

Thanks. So anyway. You will all be training to compete in various events to decide who the top three Woot Masters-

Kasaki:

Besides us.

Marty:

Yes, besides us. Who the top three fellow Woot Masters would be. The finale's gonna be like . . . American Idol. Yeah . . .

Kyo:

I hate her stupid fantasies.

Momiji, Tohru and Kisa:

Yay!

Kyo and Ghost Yuki:

What _is_ woot, anyway?

Kasaki (shocked):

You don't know what Woot is?!

Marty:

How dare you not know! And how dare you not capitalize the word 'Woot'! And like Kasakisensei said. How do you not know? We talk about it all the time. Our secret handshake just happens to be Woot, we've showed you the cartoon . . . jeez . . idiots! I swear . . .

Ghost Kakeru:

Like you're one to talk.

Ghost Yuki:

Um, sorry?

Kasaki:

That's how ya treat your Senseis, right there.

Marty:

Have ya ever seen Star Wars?

Kyo (mutters):

Sci-fi freaks.

Kyo (says normally):

Yeah, what's it ta you?

Marty:

Well, the Woot is like our version of the Force. Only we got it from a totally hysterical cartoon on the Internet. So, anyhow, the first training event is-

Kasaki:

You have to learn how to swim.

Marty:

If ya already know, line up over there. If ya don't, strap on yer hiking boots, Kasaki is taking y'all to ta pool! Oh, ghosts, you can't swim anyway, so you'll stay here with the others who can.

The Narrator, Star:

Hi, I'm Star! I'm Marty's older sister and the other day Kasaki and Marty asked me to be the narrator, and I said, 'Sure, I'd probably be able to take the time off work!' So here I am! What happens next is Tohru, Haru, Momiji, Arisa, Hatori, Saki, Kyo (actually _can_ swim!) and the ghosts stayed at the house with Marty. The others headed off. Right now, I'm gonna follow Kasaki to the pool!

Narrator Star:

At the pool.

Kasaki:

I have enrolled you all in swim class based on what you already know. Here's the list:

Advance class (one month):

Kagura, Kisa, Hiro and Rin.

Medium class (month and a half):

Ritsu and Kureno.

Baby class (1 year):

Akito.

Everybody (except Akito):

(walks to their classes)

Akito (enraged):

THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I NEVER WANTED TO DO THIS, YOU'VE TORN ME AWAY FROM MY PUPPET I MEAN KURENO AND I HATE WATER! It's all clean and nice . . . shudders creepy.

Kasaki:

Well, I'm not a Sohma and that means you can't do anything to me, so live with it. Oh, and if you so much as lay a _finger_ on _anybody,_ I'll call the cops. Because I'm a genius, and I can.

Akito:

Fine ya little bitch!

Kasaki:

Yeah, You have fun with that…

Narrator Star's assistant, Ryan:

Zzzzzzzzzzz . . . oh, um, hi. I'm Star's assistant (actually her's and Marty's little brother) and seeing as she's at the pool, I get to go back to Mr. Shigure's house and narrate there. So here we go. At Mr. Shigure's house.

Marty:

So, whaddya wanna do?

Kyo (sarcastically):

Well, you're the Woot Master, ain't ya? So YOU find something ta do.

Marty (glaring):

(Poofs herself over near Kyo) You just volunteered yourself to be in charge of games.

Kyo:

Wha . . .?!

Ghost Yuki:

So, what _are_ we gonna do, Captain Bakka?

Marty:  
(Poofs over to Ghost Yuki) You just volunteered yourself to help.

Ghost Yuki:

What?!

Haru:

So ya better find something to do fast.

Ghost Kakeru:

Well, as Vice President of the Kaibara High School Defense Force, I suggest a scavenger hunt!

Tohru:

Oh, that sounds fun!

Kyo:

Actually, just watching a movie sounds easier.

Tohru (slightly disappointed):

Oh. Okay. What movie?!

Ghost Yuki:

Uh . . . . . . .

Momiji:

How about the school play?

Marty:

Yay! Oh, which one, your school play or Emily and April's school play?

Kyo (growls):

NO SCHOOL PLAYS!!!!!!!!!!!

Everybody (except Ghost Yuki):

Awwww . . .

Marty:

Then . . . oh, let's watch . . . _Star Trek: Voyager_! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

Kasaki:

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hatori:  
You aren't supposed to be here.

Kasaki:

Oh, yeah. (Disappears)

Kyo:

Star Trek Voyager? That isn't even a movie!

Marty:

So, who cares?

Kasaki (Voice only):

Yeah, who really cares?

Ghost Kimi:

(Gasp) What was THAT?! Kimi's scared, someone save me!

Marty:

Nothing's gonna get ya. That was just Kasaki's voice. Besides, you're a _ghost_. Nothing even _can_ get you.

Ghost Kimi:

Oh. Yeah.

Kyo:

Stupid retards and their 'Woot'. I just don't get it…

Everybody (Except Marty):

Neither do we!

Marty:

Oh, shut up, all of you. Let's just go watch Star Trek. I have all the DVD's. And, we can even start at the beginning so it all makes sense.

Tohru:

Yes, that sounds like a lot of fun!

Ghost Yuki:

If you say so.

Marty:

I do say so, so there.

Assistant Narrator Ryan:

So what happens is, we're running out of time (it's the Fourth of July in America, and the fireworks are about to start), so I'm gonna just say:

"The trials and competitions were hard and semi-life threatening. Time jump to the finale, we do, and so here we are."

Narrator Star, known as the host for the Woot Finale:

And welcome back to the Finale of Woot Masters in Training! Your judges are:

Marty Burton, Kasaki Kihoya, Kyo Sohma and Yuki Sohma (ghost). So, this is the last round. The tension hanging in the air is . . . oh. We're running out of time? Already? Well, anyway, the finalists are:

Tohru Honda, Haru Sohma, Arisa Uotani, Momiji Sohma, Saki Hanajima, and Akito Sohma. So, it's elimination time.

Crowd:

Cheers! Yay! Hooray! COOL!

Host Star:

If I say your name, please step forward. Tohru. Haru. Momiji. Arisa. You are . . .

going to find out after this commercial break.

Judge Kyo:

WE DON'T EVEN HAVE COMMERCIALS! THIS ISN'T ON TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Judge Marty:

How do you know?

Judge Kyo:

Well, I guess I don't.

Ghost Judge Yuki:

He admits defeat.

Host/Narrator Star:

Judge Kyo tries to punch Ghost Judge Yuki, but it just goes right through him. Astonished, Judge Kyo reels back. Then Judge Marty punches Judge Kyo through the roof for Ghost Judge Yuki. Judge Kasaki laughs maniacally.

Judge Kasaki:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Host Star:

cough cough Idiots cough The group who I named before, you are safe. _For now_. I'm sorry to say, Miss Akito, Miss Saki, you're out.

Akito:

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs off the stage excitedly, waving arms and yelling.)

Saki:

Well, that was a rather entertaining experience. Thank you for letting me be a part of it, but I am most definitely ready to rest. (She bows and exits the stage)

Host Star:

That was pretty weird.

Judges Marty, Kyo, and Ghost Yuki:

You're telling me.

Host Star:

No, but I have to disclose that we really _are _on TV, and we really _are_ going to a commercial now. So we'll find out who the winners are, after this break.

Host Star:

And we're back! Now is the chance to find out who will be, Scary Crazy Randomness' next Woot Masters!!!!!!!! The judges; Marty Burton, Kasaki Kihoya, and Kyo and Yuki Sohma. Let the Finale begin!

Crowd:

YEAH!!!!!!!

Host Star:

Hey, judges, who do you think will win? What about you, Kyo?

Judge Kyo:

I don't even want to fucking be here let alone tell all of Japan what I think of my own family and friends.

Judge Kasaki:

Which means he wants Tohru to win.

Tohru:

Oh, thank you!

Judge Kyo:

THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID!!!!!!!!!

Judge Marty:

Yeah, right.

Host Star:

What about you, Yuki?

Ghost Judge Yuki:

I really don't know. The competition is rough and these four people are the best of the best here. It's hard to decide.

Host Star:

What about Marty?

Judge Marty:

I realize that here I am, what's the word . . . _biased_ towards my closest friends, but I think that Haru and Arisa will probably be the Masters. As for Tohru and Momiji, it's hard to say. I mean, they are both brave, kind, and smart. Both Momiji and Tohru have the kind of qualities it takes to be Woot Masters.

Host Star:

And finally, Kasaki.

Judge Kasaki:

I feel that it's also hard to say who will be the next Woot Masters, but I believe that Arisa and Haru being the most sensible choices will most likely be the next Masters of Woot.

Host Star:

We have the judge's word. And now, who will be the first Woot Master? Drumroll!

Band:

(Drumroll)

Random Person #1:

(Walks on stage and hands Star an envelope.)

Host Star:

(Opens envelope) And the first Woot Master is . . . Arisa Uotani!

Crowd:

(Cheers) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arisa:

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs over and hugs Tohru) I can't believe I won!!!!!!!!!!!

Judges Marty & Kasaki:

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Arisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Host Star:

Okay, calm down. If that's possible. The next Woot Master is . . . Haru Sohma!

Haru:

(smiles) Cool.

Judge Marty:

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Host Star:

And the last Woot Master is . . . going to be found out after the break.

Host Star:

And we're back, let's get straight to the point because we don't have much time left! The next Woot Master is . . . TOHRU HONDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tohru:

Oh my goodness . . . I won!!!!!!!!!!!! (screaming ecstatically)

Host Star:

Sorry, Mr. Momiji, maybe next time.

Momiji:

That's okay because Tohru's happy! Yay! (hugs Tohru as much as he can without transforming)

Host Star:

Thanks for viewing Woot Masters in Training!

AFTERTHOUGHT:

How will the new Woot Masters react to their new duties? Will Akito be scarred for life by learning how to swim? And how will Haru's job as first male Woot Master affect his and Marty's relationship? Stay tuned to find out!

Previews

Marty:

Hi, I'm here today to give you all a preview of what's gonna happen next! In Part 3-

Marty and Kasaki plan a private trip to Toys R Us to buy Kasaki a Poo-Chi, but everybody else follows. In Part 4-

A 2-parter. It's the end of the school year, and that means sports day and the school trip! In Part 5-

Phrases from _Star Trek-Voyager_ that will confuse Kyo.

Kyo:

Um, why me?

Marty:

Shut up, Kyo. In Part 6-

Tohru's randomness. Quite odd.

Tohru:

Uh, may I ask why?

Marty:

Because of the extremely strange things that happen to you.

Tohru:

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay . . .

Marty:

In Part 7 we will explore favorites. I don't really know what that means. And in . . . okay, I'm tired of typing I'm gonna go eat my lunch. See ya, suckas!!!!!!!


	3. ToysRUs and the Dreaded Grocery Store

**Scary Crazy Ramdomness **

**Part three**

Marty:

Hey Kasaki, we should go to Toys-R-Us and pick up Momiji some birthday gifts!

Kasaki:

Yeah! That's a great idea Marty. We should invite Kyo and Haru too.

Marty:

Hey! Just because me and Haru make out all the time doesn't mean you get to invite Kyo! Besides I want to go by ourselves.

Kasaki:

Okay! Hey Marty, how far is Toys-R-Us?

Hatori:

Toys-R-Us is only a few blocks away. You could walk.

Kasaki and Marty:

WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?????

Hatori:

I've been here watching you this whole time…

Kasaki:

I hope you know we have boyfriends.

Hatori:

Yes. Besides, I have a girlfriend.

Marty/Haru:

Really, who is it?

Hatori:

I feel I should have at least some privacy for my personal life.

Momiji:

It's Mayu-Sensei!!

All but Hatori and Momiji:

Whoa…

Haru:

Nice Hatori. Date our teacher why don't you. 

Kyo:

(Puts arm around Kasaki)

At least I'm dating someone my own age.

Hatori:

Kyo.

Kyo:

Yes?

Hatori:

We're the same age.

Kyo blushes a deep red, the color of his hair, and looks away in embarrassment.

Yuki:

I knew you'd make a fool of yourself you baka neko.

Marty:

Anyway! Me and Kasaki better get to Toys-R-Us it closes in two and a half hours.

Kasaki:

Off and away!

Everyone else: (Not Hatori) J

Can we come??

Kasaki:

Sure!

Marty:

Grrr.

And so the two followed by their friends head off to Toys-R-Us. Hatori was only dragged along for the ride.

Kasaki:

We're here! We're here!

Marty:

Grrr.

Yuki:

I wish Tohru was here…

POOF

Tohru:

Hi Yuki!

Yuki:

How did you get here?

Tohru:

I don't know… Oh well.

Yuki and Tohru skipped merrily off to the grocery store across the street.

Momiji:

TOHRU!! Wait for me!

Momiji also falls victim to the dreaded grocery store.

Hatori:

Damn! Now I have to go get him...

NoooooOOOOOOO! Hatori is GONE!!! Damn you, you dreadful Grocery Store!

Kasaki/Kyo:

I like spending time like this…

Kasaki:

OOOH! What's that Kyo?

Kyo:

It's called a poo-Chi.

Kasaki:

Whoa. How did you know?

Kyo/Haru/Marty:

It's written on the box!

Kasaki:

Oh.

Kasaki hangs her head in absolute shame, or at least the closest thing Kasaki has to shame. Which by the way isn't very close to shame.

Kyo:

Kasaki, do you want one?

Kasaki:

YEAH!! Would you get me one Kyo? Do you have enough money?

Kyo:

Yes, I have enough. If I didn't I wouldn't get it for you now would I?

Kasaki:

Uhhh…

Marty:

He'd find a way. Most likely he would steal from Haru or Yuki though.

Kyo:

Do you have to ruin everything?

Marty:

Yes. Yes I do Kyo. It proves your worthiness of Kasaki. She is my best friend after all.

Kyo:

Whatever. I know I'm worthy of Kasaki.

And Kyo leaves to go buy Kasaki her Poo-Chi. Kasaki follows in utter excitement for her new toy.

Yuki:

I wish I could live again.

Tohru:

It's okay Yuki I'm sure you'll live again someday.

Yuki:

Maybe.

Marty:

So sad, so sad. Oh well!

Marty falls as another victim to the store as she looks for candy.

Kasaki:

Thank you so so much Kyo!

Kyo:

Long as your happy…

Kasaki:

I am! I am! Now… How do I turn it on?

Haru/Kyo:

Press that button.

Kasaki:

Whoa! How did you two know?

Wait, it's on the box isn't it?

Haru:

Yes, it is Kasaki.

Kasaki:

Ragh! I feel so stupid!

Kyo:

No. You're not stupid Kasaki! You're brilliant!

Kasaki:

Really?

Kyo:

Really.

Kasaki:

Really?

Kyo:

Really.

Haru:

Suck up.

Kyo:

Shush!

Haru:

Whatever, I'm going to go find Marty.

No! Now only Kasaki and Kyo are safe from the grocery store. Let's hope they stay safe.

Kyo:

So, do you like the Poo-Chi?

Kasaki:

Yes! I love it. And… You!

Kyo:

Good.

Kasaki:

Hey the store is about to close, we should go home!

Kyo:

Yeah.

Kasaki:

Let's go then!

Kyo:

Ok…

And so they left Kyo having tricked Kasaki into thinking that the others were already home! Ohhhh! Bad Kyo! Ahh well.

Kasaki:

Hey! They aren't here!

Kyo:

They're probably out partying.

Kasaki:

I wanna party too!

Kyo:

I'll give ya one tomorrow.

Kasaki:

YAY!!!

And so the two went to bed not knowing that the others were trapped in the dreaded Grocery store! That, my friends, is why they call it the dreaded grocery store!


End file.
